that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
