So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize