I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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