He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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