2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
