I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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