I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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