And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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