SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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