Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
