Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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