i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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