Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
