youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize