So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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