Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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