Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
