oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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