So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
