You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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