turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
