is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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