it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
