We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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