I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
