he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
