Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So vagazzling was a success
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
