I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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