So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He? As in you personified your dick?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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