i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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