Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
