Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
