i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
