return my video game
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
