why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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