drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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