I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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