ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
