I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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