I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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