Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
