you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
