make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
