You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
