There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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