i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
