I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
