is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
