So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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