I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
