sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think i peed on brittanys purse
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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