your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
