Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize