we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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