somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
