I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
