I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
