I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
