I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
