I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
