Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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