i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
