I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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