Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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