you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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