You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
