my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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