Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
